If I’ve been a bit quiet of late there’s a reason…or two.
Obviously (it goes without saying really), drinking vodka and watching daytime television takes an awful lot of time and concentration, plus the added stress of stopping for coffee, going to the beach for a swim, swinging in the hammock and looking at clouds…..
But, all that aside, I’ve been having a few technical issues. My lovely, almost new ultrabook died.
Splat! Kaput! Dead as a maggot….
Other people’s computers catch viruses. My computer had a myocardial infarction. (I love saying that!)
As far as meltdowns go it was quite impressive. My laptop began to speak in tongues and spout gibberish. All that was missing was the puff of purple smoke and the evil witch cackle.
“Did you back up?,” people ask sternly. “Well, duh, yes….(I did once or twice…sometime in the last year or so….) but that drive pooped itself too!”
I don’t do things by halves.
So, I’m riding the dinosaur. I think she’s a stegosaurus….with a gammy leg…..and one eye……
I had to blow the dust off her and kick-start her with a crank handle. I have to pedal fast to keep her going. When she finally warms up she sounds a bit like an industrial vacuum cleaner. I may have to get some earmuffs.
“Steggie” is not just the size of a suitcase, she comes with a strangulation of cords and plugs. I feel like I’m sitting in a giant spider web.
“Steggie” even has……(wait for this- it’s good!)…..Steggie has a FLOPPY DISC DRIVE! Who even remembers those?
So, everything is an ordeal. Everything is sloooooooooow……and clunky and……well, just too hard.
Yesterday when I looked there were 550 unread emails. Sorry if yours was one of them because I just pulled the plug out….
My computer man isn’t returning my calls.
Maybe he’s gone to the beach too?
Still haven’t turned on the TV or bought that vodka….but this week I seriously thought about it!
PS: See what I found on my front door….I love my friends! xx