(“I Quit- Episode 2)
So, I had quit, walked out on work. Now what?
I had a small parcel of shares. They were “for a rainy day”.
I looked out the window. The seagulls soared high in the cobalt blue sky and the geraniums flashed their happy, red smiles in the perfect summer sunshine.
Now, this is where I had Insight No.1:
If I was going to do this I had to completely change the way I looked at things, and that meant not giving any space to old, freedom-crushing beliefs, particularly all those around THE FUTURE. (*Please feel most free to insert your own “All Powerful Lord Of The Universe” music piece here.)
THE FUTURE is that mythical, illusory, fantasy place that has the sneaky knack of holding us hostage under its powerful spell – often without us even realizing.
It is a place of the unknown, a powerful, paradoxical mix of ominous doom interspersed with dancing little rays of hope and promise.
THE FUTURE is where all of the elusive good things that are going to happen (someday) hide from us.
It teases us with promises of something better (but only if we do things the right way of course). Often this promise is what keeps us “hanging in there”, sort of like the proverbial carrot dangling on the end of the stick…
But for some reason, much like that carrot, it seems quite often these good things remain tantalizingly ju-u-u-u-u-st out of reach…leaving us sitting in Life’s Waiting Room looking eternally forward to that magical day where it all comes together (and we win lotto/ tell the boss to jam it/ pay the mortgage off/ have enough Apple i-whatevers)…
“Good things come to those who wait”, they tell us.
Well, those good things might come along…. if we don’t get squashed by a passing brontosaurus in the meantime.
THE FUTURE is also where all of the bad things that could happen and might happen lurk.
It is the place we have to be well-prepared for and is full of foreboding “what if’s”….
It is the place that requires effort, hard work and a sweat-load of slaving away to reach.
This FUTURE is the long, dark tunnel (complete with just the right number of ouchy, hot coals and reeking with sweet odour de brimstone) we have to safely traverse in order to reach that light of promise at the end.
I’m sure you’ve popped in for a visit or two? That familiar space filled with fear and uncertainty where we go to do un-fun things like worry and be anxious….in preparation for those rainy days…
(Just in case of passing brontosauri….)
It was at this point I realized that if I were to have the courage to follow through with this I would have to go all Zen and Eckhardt Tolle-ish and actually learn a way to stop being a futuristic time-traveller and start being elsewhere, namely HERE, like, NOW….
Uh,oh… My mind had dwelled everywhere but HERE for most of my life…and my mind was a creature of habit.
I looked at the rainy-day-share-portfolio and then looked around my house.
I had years of “stuff” that I had accumulated that would probably love to go and live in someone else’s home if I needed.
I figured if I sold up I would be able to create some breathing space financially. The added bonus, I told myself cheerily, was that I would be making my life simpler.
After all, the less you have, the less there is to worry about!
I guessed I would be able to last a year, maybe longer if I lived simply. After that I had to trust that things would take care of themselves.
So I called the stockbroker-man, (No,no! It is the completely wrong time to sell! ) told him to sell the lot, turned off my phone and began to practice two simple words:
No (for other people) and Yes (for me.)
To be continued…..
Episode 3: Learning To Say No..And Yes…And No…